Cryptic Phone Call

Last night starting around 11pm I began getting phone calls from a restricted number. Now I am notorious for not answering my phone, especially if you block your number. So if you are calling me past dark, and I don't know who you are, I'll hit "ignore" and keep it moving. No one I want to talk to will call me late and unidentified. The last call was at 3:19am, when he finally decided to leave a VM. It was cryptic in nature, and took me a minute to realize that it was "Guy #1":-O......I had decided that I wasn't going to talk anymore about him. But this VM tripped me out, so I feel compelled to fill you all in. Guy #1 was a guy I was with in high school. He'd claimed to have some seriously deep feelings for me and that I hurt him. I, however, vaguely remember anything about the relationship or how it ended. The one thing I did remember is he had the biggest d*ck I'd ever experienced. One of the reasons I decided to sleep with him again was to find out if it was as big in my adult life as it was in my teen years.

I was hesitant about going through with my thoughts because he kept trying to reminisce on things that happened back in the day, and like I said I don’t remember NOTHING! But he caught me one day. I didn’t have anything to do and was bored. He stopped through, and things were innocent enough, but that thought lingered in the back of my mind. So as you know, it happened, and you know the results. Now mind you this was MONTHS ago!

So I’d been getting little cute text messages here and there. Requests to see me again. He wants to take me out. He wants us to get together. And the only time I’d get a phone call was when he was drunk. Then he’d ramble on and on about us and how good we could be. These calls reminded me of why I stopped talking to him in high school. He’s a FUCKING DRUNK (and was back then)! A hostel drunk at that! So our last phone conversation was approximately 2 weekends ago. He once again called drunk, talking about how he couldn’t take not seeing me, not talking to me, he wants me, yada yada yada. I told him I was sleeping (lying trying to get him off my phone) and told him I’d talk to him later. He got agitated, mumbled something incoherently, and then tried to hang up on me. He fumbled with the phone trying to hang it up and I heard “BITCH” then he finally hung up. About 3 days later I sent him a text simply saying “So I’m a bitch now, huh?” but hadn’t gotten a reply. Until his cryptic VM last night.

He said something like he felt he should call me (at 3 in the morning); he thought it’d be best to turn his phone off. He doesn’t know what I mean by my text because he’d never call me a bitch, and I don’t have to call him again (I hadn’t called but 1 or 2 times anyway and not at all since “the night”). Then he says he’ll call me…But WhY? Just leave it alone.

Why can’t I just find a man who had his head securely planted onto his shoulders? A man who works hard, and plays even harder. A man who loves life and is ready to be in a committed relationship without drama, bullshit, or any of that extra crap that I just can’t tolerate. WHERE IS HE?????????????????????????????

I guess since I’ve given the 411 on Guy #1, you wanna hear about Guy #2, right? Well, maybe but not right now- I have to go and get some more fruit. I also have an update on Mr. Pussy- but that’ll have to wait too.